If you think your life is so perfect you never drive a school bus!
Because I am not happy
While driving the Elementary School kids to school a little kindergarten boy left his seat and stood in the aisle. I asked him to get back to his seat with no success. I stopped and secured the bus and gently talked to him.
“Liam, why are you standing? Please get back to your seat!”
“No!” he said.
“Why is that?”
“Because I am not happy!”
“Why are you not happy Liam?”
“Because they make fun of me,” he said.
“OK. I heard that and I will take care of it. But you know
Liam slowly moved back to his seat: “I am sorry!”
And I continued driving.
Definitely, a school bus driver needs much more qualification other than just a CDL! 😍😍😍
No one is stupid
Elementary students are the most honest creatures. Sometimes they are clearly straightforward and painfully blunt. One morning while driving them to school there was a great commotion on the bus. And the bad words like ‘stupid’ and ‘shut up’ were aired. This is not acceptable, and I had to stop it.
” QUIET! What was the problem?” I talked to them using the PA system.
“They called my dad stupid!” said Jaime.
What in the world were in this little creatures’ mind calling somebody’s parent ‘stupid’!
“Please l
I didn’t know what else I could do, but they finally calmed down.
Sitting back on my driver seat I wondered whether the word ‘mouthing’ that I just used is a bad word or a good one. Anyone can give me an answer?
Remind us our monkeys!
This is Friday morning at Charles F Tigard Elementary School. As usual, before I open the bus door to drop the students off I remind them that today is the last day of the week and I want them to promise that they will be good in class.
“Remember today is the last day of the week. Will you promise me that you will be good in class?”
I am expecting a ‘NO!’ answer, but to my surprise, they all answer: “YESSS!”
Then someone in the back row shouts: “Remind us of our monkeys and our watermelons!”
This is funny, they remind me to remind them!
“OK! Before you get off the bus don’t forget your monkeys and your watermelons!”
All of the kids scream their usual answer: “We don’t have monkeys. We don’t have watermelons!”
Then two little girls approach me, one of them ask me a question.
“May I ask you something?”
“Sure!” I say.
“What are those monkeys and watermelons?”
” You don’t have a monkey or watermelon with you?”
” No!” the girls answer.
“Then don’t forget your lunch and your backpack!”
A big smile cracks her pretty face: “Ooh!”
“OK, bye bye kids! See you on Monday!”
I think our relationship is getting better! 😁😁😁
This is just too much
Driving a school bus full of kids is every day an adventure. I learn a lot about how to handle them effectively. You won’t expect grade school kids to behave like adults, it’s just impossible. What I do is just watch them carefully so they won’t hurt themselves. Maybe the school bus is the only place where they can go wild, not at home nor in the classroom. So, I can stand, even enjoy, the screams, one hitting another, calling names, calling someone’s parent stupid, nose bleeding and many other wild things. I can even stand the nasty smell of wild fart. But this one is just too much: one student stepped on dog poop and walk all over inside the bus! It took me more than half an hour to sanitize my bus and made the bus inhabitable again! 😕😕😕
Elaina stole a banana
Listening to kids reports on problems or complaints are part of a school bus driver duty not stated in the job description. The report might be about something real or just a colorful dramatization of an event perceived by kids. The regular kindergarten and grade students reports would be like ‘He hit me on my face’ or ‘She stood on the seat’ or ‘They called my dad stupid’ or ‘He didn’t let me read my book’ or ‘They make fun of me’ or ‘He screamed on my ear’. Whatever it is, as a school bus driver I must show proper respond or the kids would feel like being ignored. Usually, my response would be a standard like: ‘I’ll take care of it’ or ‘I’ll let his mother know’ or ‘Take it easy’ or ‘Nevermind!’. But today, this one kindergarten report really caught me off guard.
“Bus driver, Elaina stole a banana at the cafeteria,” Liam said.
“What?”
“Elaina stole a banana at
I am at lost. I don’t believe the concept of ‘stealing’ is in a kindergarten mind. But I also don’t want to judge Liam as reporting a lie. After holding myself for a moment I found an answer.
Me: “I think she was not stealing, Liam. She was just borrowing. She might pay for it tomorrow. Will you keep your story just for yourself, OK?”
Liam: “OK.”
The truth is, I don’t know! 🙂🙂🙂
Bus driver …!
While driving my bus in a busy and narrow two-way street this afternoon, with a load of grade students and kindergarteners on board.
“Bus Driver, Lily moved seats!” said Sophia, a first grader.
“Lily back to your seat, or you will hurt yourself falling!” I responded through the PA.
“Bus Driver, Lily showed her tongue!” again Sophia reported.
“Lily tuck your tongue, or you will catch flies!” I said, still watching the busy traffic.
“Bus Driver, Lily kicked my leg!” once again Sophia reported.
“Never mind!” I said.
I continue driving! 😁😁😁
Jakx is showing something
I have three fifth grade students, Angela, Isabel, and Zoey, volunteering as students management helper, we call it ‘bus monitor’, on my school bus. They are pretty little girls with grown-up attitudes. They help me to calm down more than 50 wild younger kids, ask them to sit down or lower their voices and to better behave. To do that they need to occasionally walk down the bus aisle to talk to the younger kids, which is in fact against the rules. They know this so Angela asked me a question.
“Bus driver will we have a problem for standing on the bus while it is moving?”
I have to make my decision. These older girls know how to handle themselves in term of safety than those wild kids. A busload of wild little kids is much more dangerous than three bigger kids standing while the bus is moving.
“No, you won’t have any problem. As the captain of this bus, I give you this job.”
I got their first report.
“Bus Driver Jakx is showing a middle finger to me!” Angela said, pointing to a first grader Jakx.
Holy moly! Does a first grader really know what showing middle finger means? Dooh, where did he get this from? 🤨🤨🤨
Quiet or I’ll drive the bus …!
The most problem with driving a busload of kids is seating arrangement. There are kids that are incompatible with anyone on the bus. I have two of them: Adam and Ricky. Every time we put them in a row with some kid this kid reported a complaint. Yesterday the school admin tried one solution, they put Adam, who is a fourth grader, in the kindergarten row. We will see the result this coming week. As for Ricky one student Lucas, the one who is now in the same row with him, offered a solution.
“Ask Ricky who he wants to sit next to him and he will behave for the rest of the school year,” said Lucas stuttering.
“ OK Lucas. I’ll talk about it with the Admin.”
But I have a different solution. I ask Ernesto, a big fifth grader, to sit in my driver seat. When they all get on the bus after school and saw Ernesto in my seat they asked what he is doing. I told them that he is the new bus driver.
All students: “NOOO! He can’t drive!”
“He can if I let him do it. Unless all of you behave Ernesto will be your new driver!” “Ernesto, use the PA and tell them to calm down!” I said to Ernesto.
Ernesto shouted on PA: “SHUT UP!”
“No, no! Don’t use a ‘shut up. Say QUIET!”
Ernesto rephrased it: “CALM DOWN! OR I’LL DRIVE THE BUS!”
Everyone calms down! 😃😃😃
Just open your butt
There is one kid rock song everybody on the bus loves: It’s Raining Tacos. The lyric goes like this: …it’s raining tacos, from out of the sky, tacos, no need to ask why, just open your mouth and close your eyes, it’s raining tacos … They always ask me to play this song and usually I play it on my iphone and pipe it through the PA system and they will dance like crazy. This time I wasn’t able to play it because I was busy driving, so they sang the song together but with a modified lyric. Instead of singing … just open your mouth and close your eyes … they sang … just open your butt and close your eyes … This is not right!
“Stop singing! No ‘butt’ word should be aired on my bus! That’s not good. I never say ‘butt’ in my life!”
“You said it just now!”
“You made me! Besides, tacos won’t fit your butt!” I said.
“OK. No more BUTT!
“Stop it!”
Dooh kids! How can I live without you! 🤨🤨🤨
Party pooper
Rainy morning, it was dark, cold and wet. Visibility was poor, so I had to drive my bus slowly and carefully.
“Bus Driver
“What is it a ‘party pooper’?” I asked for not having any idea what it is.
“It’s someone who poops at a party,” other kids explained.
“Please, no one on this bus poop at a party.
I still don’t understand why pooping at a party or in the office or at the mall or anywhere else for that matter could be so bad! As long as it is done in the toilet!
Oh, party poopers! 😛😛😛
Potty word
Every morning I learn new vocabularies from these little kids in the school bus. Some expressions I did not know before becoming my daily instruction. ‘Back to back’ means your back to the seat back which means sit down or the same thing with ‘on your bottom’ also means sit down. I also learn how to say things a different way. One morning I had this conversation.
“Bus Driver Jakob said a bad word!”
“What bad word?”
“I can’t say it, it is a bad word.”
“Put it in a different way,” I said.
“It is a potty word!” answered
Although I didn’t really know I could guess, it had to be the ‘sh*t’ word.
“Jakob with a ‘K’, please no ‘potty word’ on our bus or anywhere else!”
These kids are smart! 😁😁😁